As every fan of the Flintstones is conscious of, when the whistle blows on the end of Fred’s shift on the quarry, he “yabba dabba dos” his means residence by sliding down the dinosaur.
And that’s how I ended practically every radio broadcast I did over the earlier 22 years.
“Down the dinosaur I’m going!”
On Friday, Dec. 14, I slid down the dinosaur for the ultimate time. After 1000’s and 1000’s of hours of yakking on AM 790 KABC — 5 hours a day, 5 days per week — it’s time to shut up and listen. No particular person ever found whereas talking.
I struggled with this decision. Not giving up the microphone. Web internet hosting a morning radio current means getting up at three:30a.m., hours sooner than daybreak. I obtained’t miss that. What’s arduous is coming to grips with the phrase “retirement.” Retirement is one factor earlier of us do. I’m not earlier!
Or am I?
For the report, the highest of my broadcast career would not suggest I am giving up this column. They’ll ought to haul me out of your newspaper like a Boy Scout troop making an attempt to tug a beached whale once more out to sea.
There’s a long-postponed novel to place in writing and that begins immediately. There are films to make and who’s conscious of what else. I anticipate to be busier than ever.
Nonetheless even this partial-retirement means I’ve to face the dreaded “R” phrase.
Our custom simply is not considerably nice to the aged. In some cultures, notably in Asia and Africa, family patriarchs and matriarchs are commemorated, keepers of family and cultural traditions and oracles of information. Nonetheless we keep inside the New World, with places generally known as New England, New York and New Mexico. Our nation represents a deliberate break from the earlier — the Earlier World— a spot the place you’ll flip the Etch-a-Sketch of life and make a latest start. That’s a good looking issue.
However, as is normally the case, the laws of unintended penalties kicks in. Whereas shedding the pogroms and entrenched class strategies that imprisoned laborers to a lifetime of drudgery with no means out, we went to the other extreme; a society that is perpetually tearing down the earlier to assemble one factor new. Fifty-year-old baseball stadiums are routinely imploded whereas in Rome lots of of 1000’s nonetheless queue up for a look inside the 2,000-year-old Colosseum. Along with earlier buildings, we shunt grandma and grandpa off to retirement homes or senior communities the place they roll spherical in golf carts until six buddies lug them to the great previous.
Until the 1940s, the world had adults and children, interval. Now now now we have tweeners and snowflakes and all of the items in between. The booming factories of World Battle II and the accompanying civilian manpower shortage put money inside the pockets of youthful of us. When Frank Sinatra obtained the Bobby Soxers swooning on the Paramount Theater in 1944, the sunshine bulb went on over Madison Avenue and was invented. Subsequent acquired right here rock ‘n’ roll and now we have been off to the races.
It’s pretty an irony for me that radio itself gave senior residents the hook from the stage of American life. When radio advertisers discovered the concept of “mannequin loyalty,” get ‘em consuming Skippy peanut butter at three and you have got a purchaser for all instances, your whole well-liked tradition turned in direction of mom and pop.
Within the current day, three-quarters of the commercials on television are for medication or lotions to makes us look youthful, actually really feel youthful or assume we look youthful. From moisturizers, face lifts in a bottle or little blue medication, Grandma and Grandpa on TV are perpetually driving up the PCH in traditional convertibles with the wind whipping by means of their flowing hair.
Even when it’s not their hair. Eighty is the model new 60, 60 is the model new 40, 100 is the model new 80. Or so we’re instructed. Nonetheless, try going to a faculty mixer and testing this precept. When your hip substitute is older than the blonde on the end of the bar, you’ll quickly uncover the model new 75 stays to be the earlier 75.
Nonetheless, batons should be handed and there comes a time. However, as I obtained capable of log off the air for the ultimate time, I questioned what is going on to go away perpetually with me? My current was as eclectic and eccentric as its host. I featured music prolonged banished to Pandora or the tape deck in Grandpa’s Oldsmobile. Whereas principally a info and commentary current, “McIntyre inside the Morning” featured Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald, Southern California legend Jack Sheldon and updated jazz greats along with Gordon Goodwin, John Pizzarelli and Tierney Sutton. Who will play them on the AM band now?
Each of us is unique in our private means. It may very well be a recipe that solely tastes good when you make it, a selected technique of wrapping a Christmas reward or the humorous means you dance. After we’re gone from the scene that little little little bit of Pleasure to the World goes with us.
Nonetheless retirement simply is not demise and gray hair would not suggest obsolescence. America’s seniors are good for heaps further than merely searching for medication and voting in direction of anyone who messes with Social Security. That is, if we’re capable of get earlier the cultural bias that pigeonholes anyone over 60 as a bingo participant or free childcare for the grandchildren.
Bear in mind, Fred Flintstone moreover climbed up the dinosaur.