DEAR EDITOR: I’m 48 years previous. A few of my coworkers say that no person is exempted from being a doable sexual predator. One girlfriend mentioned she was groped by a creepy retailer Santa. Please inform me the reality; is there an opportunity Santa Claus himself is subsequent?
– Virginia O’Hanlon, 115 W. 59th St.
Virginia, your girlfriends are lifeless proper. To not imagine that Santa Claus could possibly be subsequent, you would possibly as effectively imagine in fairies. Many refuse to imagine something however what’s in their very own minds — regardless of corroborations and even audio and video recordings from “Entry Hollywood.”
I’m not accusing St. Nicholas of sexual harassment and, let’s be clear, there have been no allegations as of press time, however Virginia, tomorrow is a brand new day, with new claims and surprising new revelations doubtless.
If we discovered one factor in 2017, it’s that no person is secure. No person.
Is Santa Claus subsequent on the checklist? He invented the checklist. Is he naughty or good? Take a guess. He’s a person in super energy with a number of secrets and techniques. And yearly, tens of millions sit on his lap.
What are you able to do, Virginia? Be leery of any workplace Secret Santas. Keep away from mistletoes. Carry mace.
The everlasting mild with which fills the world is flickering. Morals and decency on this world have all gone to hell in a hand-basket, Virginia. I’ve no religion on this nation straightening itself out. Nor must you. I imagine in Making America Nice as a lot as I imagine within the Easter Bunny or a good tax reform.
Sure, Virginia, Santa Claus could possibly be subsequent. He lives, and he lives as a hot-blooded male with disgusting wants. I’d put nothing previous him. The likelihood exists as actually as pervs are in energy and there are nonetheless those that look the opposite approach. Merry Christmas!
Eckstein is the creator of the bestseller “Footnotes from the World’s Biggest Bookstores.” Ship a Letter to the Editor
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